Susuto

@antonycao

I’m an Australian with 20 years experience in China, so you’re totally wrong in your assumption that I don’t understand your culture. I have in fact thought very long and hard about this, and am merely trying to offer advice from a western perspective, as my Chinese friends offer advice on my behavior from their perspective.

I understand that the angry responses (as you have demonstrated) are in the spirit of mianzi. From the Chinese perspective, there is nothing wrong with this. From the western perspective, you need to understand that it is doing you no favors. By responding to every criticism with an attack, it appears that you have something to hide. It may be the truth that you have nothing to hide, but that is the perspective of the west, and perspective is extremely important.

Take France as an example. A decade ago, they commenced nuclear testing in the pacific ocean, which is quite close to Australia. The people in Australia were outraged, and began protesting. The French did not reply with anger (as you just have), but merely gave friendly responses that nothing would be wrong. They REFUSED TO TAKE THE BAIT. After a while, the whole issue blew over and everybody basically forgot that anything was happening.

When dealing with Chinese, I have to change my behavior to suit. If I don’t, then I will basically fail in my efforts, whatever they are at the time. In order for us to all move forward together, the Chinese must do the same. When we can meet in the middle, we can achieve excellent results.

You obviously deal with ignorant westerners all the time, as do I, so I sympathize with you. My best advice to you is this: don’t get angry when responding to criticism…just be calm, and smile, and give friendly responses. After a while the ignorant westerner will feel stupid for criticizing you.